forever seems so long

so, i am in a situation that i want to last forever. forever is a big word. its a word that i feel like i shouldnt be saying. i have never felt like this before. i have been in relationships that i wanted to last for a long time. dont get me wrong, but i want this one to LAST. i seem to be the issue in most of my relationships. people seem to blame me for everything. i take the fall for it too. by taking the fall i mean, i will agree when you tell me i was wrong. i apologize for everything, even stuff i didnt do.
i am hopeless, in that, i have these really romantic ideas in my head, but how often do they play out? i am trying so hard with this one. i really want to make it work. i have been happy inthe past with people i dated, but this one feels so different. part of me feels like a teenager thats in love for the first time, the other part of me wants to grab on and not let go. its been so long since i have felt anything ike this at all. there is always the fear of getting to close to someone to let someone know you completly. i have changed alot over the past 6 years and i am scared to have someone know me completely. there are a couple of peple in my life who know more than enough about me. i guess its a risk worth taking. for someone to know me completly and be ok with me and loving me for me. knowning me for who i am not who they want me to be. i will change and do things that make the person i am wiht happy. becasue if she is not happy i am not happy. so i will change things about myself. there are things that can never change tho. i dont want for anyone to ever think that my family is not important when they are the most important and only thing i have thats a constant in my life.
if she is happy i am happy. i will do whatever it takes to make sure she is happy. if that showing up wiht flowers becasue she doesnt feel well, to letting her cry on my shoulder. whatever it takes is what i am prepared to do. love is such an interesting emotion.