If love ever gives me another try....

All the things I felt and never shared.All the times she was lonely with me there.Tears I wouldn't let fall from my eyes, and how I let her go without a fight. The reasons Im alone I know by heart, but I dont wanna spend forever in the dark. I swear next time Ill hang on for dearlife. If love ever gives me another try.Theres no changin things that we regret, the best that we can hope for is one more chance.If the hands of time could just move in reverse, I wouldn't make the same mistake again with her.The reasons Im alone I know by heart, but I dont wanna spend forever in the dark. I swear next time Ill hang on for dearlife. If love ever gives me another try. The reasons Im alone I know by heart, but I dont wanna spend forever in the dark. I swear next time Ill hang on for dearlife. If love ever gives me another try. Oh if love ever gives me another try



I am trying to get up the nerve to get back out and on the market. Its so hard, I feel like I am tainted. So may girls have ruined me. I really mean that, they have ruined me. And I am poor so that doesnt help.

what she's doing now

I heard this song three times in two days, lets just say, that if she'd come back, I'd totally take her back... and its probably not who you think either.



Last time I saw her it was turnin' colderBut that was years agoLast I heard she had moved to BoulderBut where she's now I don't knowBut there's somethin' 'bout this time of yearThat spins my head aroundTakes me back makes me wonderWhat she's doin' now'Cause what she's doin' now is tearin' me apartFillin' up my mind and emptyin' my heartI can hear her call each time the cold wind blowsAnd I wonder if she knows...what she's doin' nowJust for laughs I dialed her old numberBut no one knew her nameHung up the phone sat there and wonderedIf she'd ever done the sameI took a walk in the evenin' windTo clear my head somehowBut tonight I lie here thinkin'What she doin' now'Cause what she's doin' now is tearin' me apartFillin' up my mind and emptying my heartI can hear her call each time the cold wind blowsAnd I wonder if she knowsWhat she's doin' now is tearin' me apartFillin' up my mind and emptying my heartI can hear her call each time the cold wind blowsAnd I wonder if she knows...what she's doin' now

Maybe I coulda cried, shoulda tried harder

Its Saturday, I am at work. It looks like it is gonna rain at any moment. I heard about severe thunderstorms just south of me. I have the feeling tho that we are gonna get slammed later today with bad weather. I dont know. I do know that I got my new bed moved in, (Thanks Will!) and it sits way to high off the ground. I like it. Its a firm mattress, so it bothered my back a little. I had a full size, this one is a Queen. Its nice to have more room. If someone were to stay with me, I am not gonna be all up on them while I am sleeping! HA!. Plus my feet dont hang off the end of this one. I am just throwing the old one out today. I dont have a use for it. So, its off to the dumpster. There was a TV there that someone was throwing out.......I kinda want it, but not if it doesnt work!
I am playing ball again this year. We are currently, 0-2. We need to practice a little more, but we are doing ok. I struck out last at bat, how do I strike out. Last time I struck out was in high school, that was a long time ago. So yeah. I saw my ex-girlfriend. She looked like she was doing well. Her current girlfriend was not with her. I would have like to have spoken to her, but I did not. I am kind of a wuss with stuff like that. Oh well, I am sure I will see her again. I know where she works, I guess I could stop by and say, What up, yo? HA. Oh well, then again that may make me look kinda crazy.
Ok, I am gonna get back to renting cars, and waiting on the rain.

I've fought with the devil, got down on his level, i never gave in so he gave up on me....

So, whats new for me? Well, I am single once again. I dont mind it. I can concentrate more on work and things that are important to me. I am headed home this weekend, I am excited about that. It will be nice to see that family, plus my cousin, Will, has his wedding shower this weekend. We got him tools. I mean thats a pratical gift. I just think his fiance is gonna say "they didnt get me anything", and my reply will be "your also not family, not quite yet." I dont think its mean. Honestly, she wont be family until May anyway.
So, I bought a new bed, Laurens cat used my old bed as a litter box, and I am still angry about it. She didnt even offer to replace it. That lit me up. Oh well. I havent had the new bed delivered as I am paying on it. when its paid off in appx 3 paychecks then I will move it in. I got a deal on it, 350 mattress and box spring.
I have decided to recluse myself once my room is clean. Buy a universal remote and use it on my little tv in my bedroom and buy a new computer hopefully soon and just stay in my room. I cant put anything up in the apartment anyway. Oh well.
Things were looking up then they collasped. However, as much as I have wanted to go and drink every night. I went out last weekend and had two drinks (thats all, I promise). I have had the mentality lately that I should just go and get trashed, but at least i am responsible enough to wonder how i would get home if i did that.
I am also looking at buying a townhouse. I like it alot and I think it would be a good chance for me to start over. Maybe eventualy i would meet someone to share the town house with me, not only for the lower payment for me, but because they genuinly wanted to.
Can someone like me ever be happy? Thats the question of the day.

it aint no crime

I was sitting outsideLawn chair, kiddie pool, just soakin' up the sunOld man walks by and saidWe got this thing called ambitionWhy don't you buy a suitAnd go get you someChorusLike he ain't got enough of his own businessNow he's got to go mindin' mineOpportunity knocks and I miss itIt ain't no crimeIt ain't no crimeIf I wanna kick back and kill a little timeIt ain't no crimeI was gettin' some pink in my colorNext door lady says, why you always layin' 'roundFine you man like youShould be married with some childrenInstead of all those honeysRunning in and outChorusLike she ain't got enough of her own businessNow she's got to go mindin' mineI don't have a lot of kids and a Mrs.It ain't no crime, it ain't no crimeIf I wanna kick back and steal a kiss some timeIt ain't no crimeIf everybody minded their own businessThey'd be too busy to worry 'bout mineIf I live life the way I wanna live itIt ain't no crime, it ain't no crimeIf I wanna kick back and chill or stealA kiss from a girl, I will every timeIt ain't no crimeIt ain't no crimeIt ain't no crime

these days gone can mean so many things

I heard the door slam and I couldn't tell was it just the wind or was she mad again ah hell she's gettin' in her carI hallard baby is there somethin' wrongthought I heard her say somethingsounded like I'm gonebut these days gone can mean so many thingsWell there's gone for good and there's good and goneThen there's gone with the long before itI wish she'd been just a little more clearTheres gone for the day and gone for the nightgone for the rest of your dog-gone lifeis it whiskey night or just a couple of beersI mean what kinda gone are we talkin' 'bout hereWell its gettin' dark out she ain't back yetain't called hometurned off the phoneah man this mighta not be goodwould have stopped her when she went to leave but I didn't 'cause I didn't really think what I'm thinkin' nowStill not sure what gone is all aboutCause there's gone for good and there's good and goneand theres gone with the long before itI wish she'd been just a little more clearWell there's gone for the day and gone for the nightand gone for the rest of your dog-gone lifeis it whiskey night or just a couple of beersI mean what kinda gone are we talkin' 'bout hereis it the kinda gone she's at her moms' coolin' down she'll come aroundor the kind that says you had your chance she ain't comin' backWell there's gone for good and there's good and goneand theres gone with the long before itI wish she'd been just a little more clearWell there's gone for the day and gone for the nightand gone for the rest of your dog-gone lifeis it whiskey night or just a couple of beersI mean what kinda gone are we talkin''bout what kinda gone are we talkin''boutwhat kinda gone are we talkin''bout herewhat kinda gone